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Monday, February 28, 2005

I'm trying asbestos I can

I hereby relent and finally admit to believing in the theory of Intelligent Design -- the assertion that empirical evidence supports the conclusion that the initial life on earth, and perhaps some of its present details, was deliberately designed by one or more intelligent agents.

But as a striking challenge to the traditionalist ID'ers, I contest that my theory of Intelligent Design Design (IDD) beats all other comers in simplicity and self-consistency. Moreover, the theory, if taken to heart, should make all sides happy.

I postulate my theory based on two premises:
  1. That an Intelligent Designer created all life on earth and all the by-products subsequently derived, including fossil fuels
  2. But, something else designed the Intelligent Designer
I know that the first premise seems a tad wacky, but given a valid model for the second premise I think I can make it work.

My proposed model for Intelligent Design Design follows from a basic set of principles:
  • That an Intelligent Design Designer progressed from humble beginnings to an advanced form. I explain this via the process of nevolution, which essentially describes a succession of IDD agents over long periods of time
  • Along the way, the IDD deity-forms faced nutations in their functionality, allowing for variability in outcomes of agent formulations. "Survival of the fittest" agent provided a path to improvements in successive generations
  • Satural nelection eliminated IDD forms that proved out as dead-ends
  • As a corollary, certain elements of the IDD agents, hypothetically referred to as nenes, allowed the successful attributes to propagate forward through a mechanism I call ninheritance
  • Finally, at some long nevolved point in time, a nutated IDD agent achieved great technical proficiency. This IDD agent, let's call it Narwin, one day got bored and decided to start a hobby. After a bit of browsing through the back pages of a popular in-house science magazine, searching for some good ideas, Narwin latched on to the idea of letting loose a mixture of low-level and Bush-league life-forms on the planet Earth.
And the rest follows: 10,000 years of history.

Like I said, bullet-proof. And, are we happy now?

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