Oxy Morons

Rapidly we are seeing double-speak with the same absurdity as Orwell penned. I became intrigued by the more prevalent recent use of the term "Free Energy", a perpetual motion spanking machine if I have ever seen one.

"Catastrophic Success" -- Bush on conquest in Iraq.
"Creating a Terrific Company" -- Trump on his latest bankruptcy, also quoted saying "It doesn't matter - it's a modern-day thing, a legal mechanism"
"Blowing off Steam" -- Rush Limbaugh on rationale for torture.

and one paradox certain to appear as election day approaches:
"Low Prices at the Pump"

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Bonus Round
Since Bush has been an advocate of physical fitness, having gotten into running in 1972 and biking recently, I have noticed that all of his "presidential races" have been timed. And, truthfully speaking, his times have been quite impressive, including doing a 3-mile road race in 20 minutes, 29 seconds within the last year.

``It's interesting that my times have become faster after the war began,'' Bush said in an interview with Runner's World that hit the newsstands Thursday. (last year)

That sounds suspiciously like the effects of adrenaline rush.

``I was so out of shape, a friend of mine played to my vanity to get me to start running,'' Bush said. ``Back then, I was a man who was known to drink a beer or two. And over time, I'm convinced that running helped me quit drinking and smoking.''

Bush has said he stopped drinking after turning 40.

``If you're drinking too much, and you're running to cure a hangover, pretty soon you have to make a choice. Do you want to keep getting a hangover, or do you want to feel the way you do after a run?'' the president said.

So, considering all that history, the following blog comment by someone defending Bush's alacrity, or lack thereof, in responding to the 9-11 crisis:

Sat in a classroom for 7 minutes?! OH NO!! Yeah, he should have broke out the red cape and just flew out of the room and caught the planes in midair right? What the hell was he going to do? Honestly?

Prompted me to respond with this rant:

Think of what would have happened when Bush was serving in the Texas Air National Guard. Say, his unit was ordered to scramble into action for national security purposes (like an invasion by Mexico "REMEMBER the ALAMO"). How long would his superiors have tolerated him sitting on his hands?

Now, I know this is all very hypothetical and never would have been an issue because the Chimpy was AWOL during this time. So I agree, what could the guy have honestly done? I mean he was AWOL and there was no way he was going to be able to drive from Alabama to Texas in 7 minutes. And of course that is contingent on that his superiors had actually known that he was in Alabama at the time. And that they could find some reservist, or anyone that had his current phone number. And that he was not hungover from partying too long the previous night, in which case he might have been asleep and wouldn't have heard the phone ring anyways. And then had he answered, it would have taken awhile to convince him to defend against an attacking force that may or may not be supplying his cocaine fix for the next decade.

And that was before he started his running regime.
My theory, which explains everything, is premised on the following quote (Bush on his running times):

``They were pretty fast all along, but since the war began, I have been running with a little more intensity. And I guess that's part of the stress relief I get from it,'' Bush said. ``You tend to forget everything that's going on in your mind, and just concentrate on the time, distance or the sweat. It helps me clear my mind.''

So I would diagnose any and all of Bush's slow reaction times (such as questions from the press) on effects due to drifting into the ozone of a runner's high.


UPDATE: The Bush running quotes from this this cached page at Ultramarathoner's World