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Sunday, March 13, 2005

Standard Oil Depletion Disclaimers

If peak oil was like the stock market:
Caution: Past technological innovations are no guarantee of future developments. 1

If peak oil was like the medical industry:
Caution:Side effects may occur if you are taking large doses of petroleum, or if you take them over a long period of time. Some side effects are mild and may go away without treatment. Others are more serious and should be treated right away. You may not have every side effect listed here, but you should be aware of problems that could occur. Only some side effects are listed here. In general the side effects of various fossil fuels are comparable, but ask your doctor or pharmacist about specific side effects of the type of fuel you're taking.2

If peak oil was like the automobile industry:
Caution: Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

If peak oil was like the construction industry:
Caution: Do not operate heavy machinery while under the influence of cheap oil.

If peak oil was like the software industry:
Caution: Mother earth makes no warranty, representation or guaranty that the petroleum will be uninterrupted or error free or that any defects can be corrected.

If peak oil was like the fast food industry:
Warning: Filling may be hot. What are you, stupid or something?

If peak oil was like the legal profession:
Warning: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be used against you. In other words, don't worry -- our leader Dick Cheney has it all figured out. signed: Alberto Gonzalez, A.G.

Final Disclaimer
If this site was like real journalism:
Duh: In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, this material is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes.3

1via Aaron at PeakOil
2modified from a Sam Seder rant on using infinite horizon arguments
3no animals were injured, maimed, or killed during the writing of this piece.


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