A Different Kind of Tension

From Past Peak, this black-humor joke of the day:

The election was such a success, today Dick Cheney said, "We're so close to that oil, I can taste it." -- Jay Leno

I quoted Buzzcocks lyrics a couple of weeks ago. I might have to go through their entire catalog.

Well it seems so real I can see it
And it seems so real I can feel it
And it seems so real I can taste it
And it seems so real I can hear it
So why can't I touch it?

Then it looks so real I can see it
And it feels so real I can feel it
And it tastes so real I can taste it
And it sounds so real I can hear it
So why can't I touch it?

Then it looks so real I can feel it
And it feels so real I can taste it
And it tastes so real I can hear it
And it sounds so real I can see it
So why oh why can't I touch it?_#

Here's another joke Leno can use:

"You know the colored stuff that the legislators coated on their finger at Bush's State of the Union Address? Apparently, they were all auditioning for dipstick in chief. Those weren't ink-wells they dipped their fingers into, they were simply checking the depth of the oil-well shaft rammed up our collective butt."

Thanks. I'll be here until next Tuesday.