That's the ticket

MEMO:
Well, my advisors tell me that Mexico has vast amounts of fossil fuel and, that, apparently so does Canada. So, we better start making noise about protecting the whole of North America -- the idea of protection makes perfect sense, because of the knowns that we do know, we know that the United States, Canada, and Mexico all belong to the "North American continent". Please understand that we do not want to go down the path towards a "North American incontinent". Incontinence, as you may well be aware of, can be caused by trapped gas and sludge-like buildup. Theoretically, from what our think-tanks tell us, we can relieve this condition by moving our strategic forces (including our Halliburton Igloo and Adobe divisions) to our appendages. From these vital locations, we should be able to provide "relief" by opening up the valves and bleeding the tarry extrusions and gaseous bloat. If you have any questions, the following captures my plan .
-- sincerely, Don Rumsfeld

P.S. This does not have to make any sense at all. As long as words keep coming out and the eyes keep squinting, no one will question it.